


Ceiling Mycroft is Watching You Masturbate

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-22
Updated: 2011-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-15 21:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John makes a surprising discovery, but he's not all that unhappy about it, apparently.</p><p>From the kinkmeme: <em>While very much not in an established relationship with John, Sherlock closely investigates John's penis and constructs a distubingly accurate replica for personal use. Then, John finds the replica.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Ceiling Mycroft is Watching You Masturbate

John knew that Mycroft had the flat under surveillance, but he tried not to let it stop him from going about his business. Ignorance of where your mad flatmate's equally mad brother placed the cameras and bugs was, as far as he was concerned, bliss.

But he did wonder, on occasion, if ceiling Mycroft (he really had to stop reading LOL-Cats) was watching him masturbate.

***

"What is _that_?" John let the Dyson clatter to the floor.

"What?" Sherlock shouted over the whine.

" _That_!" Sherlock sighed gustily and padded over to his bedroom. John pointed accusingly at the dildo that had pride of place on the nightstand, amongst the bottles of lube and envelopes with notes scribbled on them, and a can of yellow spray paint.

"Surely you're a doctor?"

"I know what it is, you great pillock. What I want to know is _why_ you insist on leaving it out in public."

"It's useful. And when I need to lay hand to it, it's convenient."

"You can't put it in a drawer?" John tried to ignore the 'lay hand to it' portion of Sherlock's reply.

"On the contrary, I store toxic substances in that drawer. I don't want Junior John getting contaminated, thank you."

" 'Junior John?' You _named_ it?"

"Yes." Though he wouldn't swear to it, John was sure Sherlock was blushing.

The penny dropped.

"Oh my God." John backed to the door. "It's _me_!"

"As good a likeness as I could get without making a live casting."

"You… you'd _do_ that?"

"Yes. Your proportions are more than adequately suited for my needs. Mycroft sometimes let me go through the surveillance footage. "

John froze.

"Two of them," he moaned. "I don't know if I can put up with _two_ of them."

"That's disgusting, John." Sherlock sounded put out. "I would never put myself in the same category as my brother – how demeaning."

John laughed hollowly.

"And taking pictures of my cock without my knowledge and using them to construct your personal _plaything_ isn't?"

"What, not good?"

"More than a bit, yes. Sherlock, all you had to do was _ask_!"

"Oh, well, then…" Sherlock grinned. "I'll get the plaster and the Vaseline. When I return, please be completely naked and erect. It will make the process all that much more straightforward."

"Sherlock? That’s not…"

**Author's Note:**

> So not mine. Really, you can't pay me to write this.
> 
> Thanks go to Bluey, PJ, Annie, and Machshefa for the aiding and abetting.


End file.
